Cholesterol

In my own defense, the car battery is driving me nuts because the junk that holds it in place is rusted and crusted to the point where no tool on earth seems able to loosen it.

I know you mean well but don't tell me about squirting everything with Liquid Wrench.

I've gone through half a can of the stuff without budging anything.

I'm still lucid enough to know that a hacksaw could solve the whole mess but then I would have to jury rig some Rube Goldberg apparatus to fasten the new battery in place.

I keep hoping that a few more sleepless nights will bring inspiration and I won't have to invent a new way to keep a battery from bouncing onto the road.

And don't ask me to explain once more who Rube Goldberg was.

You're too young to understand.

The fact that I can't arrange problems in order of importance has always baffled my wife, notably during the years I was allegedly running the Tehachapi News.

As just one case in point, when I should have been wracking my brain to come up with a scheme for meeting the next payroll she would find me agonizing over a crack in the cover of the toilet tank.

This peculiarity of mine (I don't think it rises to the level of madness yet) has forced me into a great deal of introspection.

Why do I sit up wide-eyed until after midnight, terrified that I'm coming down with leprosy when it's only a case of dry skin?

Then wh...

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